In July of 2011 I started Diva Dieting. I dieted and exercised and I lost weight. In january my father died then in July my mother died.
Diva Dieting went dark and I spent over a year in despair. My body took the hit. All my energy went into grieving and surviving. My world got very quiet and humbled as I went deep within for what seemed like years and years.
Then a few months ago I felt a little energy bubble up here and there. Then a bit later i felt some more energy although I was still pretty fragile. but then recently I started feeling a tremendous surge of power that has only increased in magnitude.
Nowadays I wake up angry, passionate and determined. I am quite different on the inside and I’m about to go external with it. I’m calling this my Coup d’iet – A decisive overthrow of dieting and exercise among other things.
I hereby depose the tyranny of sadness and apathy that not only got me fat but got me paralyzed to do anything meaningful for a long time.
Believe me I know simply going on a diet is not going to solve that. I’m going to use dieting as the transformational springboard to make radical changes in other areas of my life.
I became complacent and uninterested in living beyond my little box. I want to develop more self-mastery, self-love, forgiveness, focus, grit, faith, belief. I want to release the past and make a paradigm shift. This is not about losing weight. It’s about reclaiming my personal power, my vitality and taking the health of the very vessel that carries my being.
When i woke up from the sleep of sadness, failure and grief i finally saw the covertly destructive things i did to the only thing that i really own — my body. i was the titanic and I would have been heading for an iceberg; gaining yet another ten pounds then another and another until i sank into the sea of sickness and early death.
The reasons I’m dieting now are completely different. I’m not about to put in the hard work of losing over 50 pounds so i can try to look like a Victoria Secrets’ model. I’m doing this to stay alive. I’m doing this not so men can enjoy my body but so I can enjoy my body.
Each pound that i release i reclaim myself from self-destruction and the voices inside my head that say “you are not worth it.” “you have no time for this.” And this voice not only speaks to my health but it speaks to my creativity, my financial state and my quest for love.
I will have a healthy, practical and sustainable routine that will support me until the day I die.
This is not 20 pounds in 20 days.
Losing weight is about healing.
Healing is a process not an event.
This is Diva Dieting.