Many monkey stickers for working out YET there are 2 pounds that are completely unjustified. Stupid, stupid scalie. Diva’s relationship with her scale gets questioned after working out five times this week. 5 monkies – 2 monsters – 4 smileys
This is the end of the 16th week for me of a new lifestyle of healthy eating and lots of exercise.
Right off the bat I’m going to tell you I worked out five times this week and had a good diet week. Isn’t that terrific? I also gained two pounds. I gained two pounds.
Looking at the calendar we see the 5 monkey stickers for working out only 2 monster sticker cheat meals and four smiley faces for absolutely perfect diet days.
According to my calendar sticker data whenever I worked out 4 or more times and had a good diet week I lose 2 pounds. Lose 2 pounds.
I realize I’m not supposed to depend on the scale. That it doesn’t accurately reflect gains in muscle or account for water retention.
But so far I’ve felt like the numbers on the scale pretty much match that week’s food/exercise ratio. I didn’t have a problem with “Scalie” (me with scale)
Yet this week I’m so maaad at Scalie (I make a fist and say “I oughta” or “bad scalie”).
I set myself up this week to release 2 pounds. I was so looking forward to getting into the 160s.
But no. Scalie with your scientific calibrating digitizing exactitude you don’t care that I worked out 5 times this week and ate healthy. You don’t care about my feelings. You can be so mean.
Getting a body fat test is supposed to be more accurate than just weighing yourself with a scale. This is where they use calipars to measure fat on various parts of your body.
Then there’s a chart and some math and voila you’ve got some percentage of lean body mass versus fat body mass.
Ultimately it’ll tell you how many pounds of muscle you’ve gained versus how much fat you’ve lost.
As opposed to the scale which does not take into account any gains made in muscle mass.
My gym offers body fat testing for free. I’ve had it done twice. Why just twice? Because it’s frickin’ humiliating.
This is the routine. I ask the 110 pound adorable college girl receptionist if there is a trainer available to measure my body fat.
Already we’re into some fun here.
The adorable receptionist announces into the intercom that she needs an available personal trainer to come to the front desk. Trainers love to be called to the desk.
Eventually a young, handsome, well-built and freshly shaved male personal trainer shows up.
The receptionist and trainer flirt a little bit then she tells him the outstanding news that he is about to measure the body fat of an overweight middle aged woman.
He is obviously thrilled at the opportunity so off we go into a little office by the nautilus equipment.
This could be a perfect opportunity for soft porn music to play in the background but there isn’t any music playing and he grabs a piece of my back fat with a plastic calipar and writes down the measurements. Uhhhh
The other method is to measure your body with measuring tape. I’ve done this too but I never think I’m doing it right.
I’m not sure if I have the “hips at widest point” (make quote marks with hand gesture) because I have several “hips at widest point”.
Then am I squeezing the tape to tight or too loose (show me doing this on my arm).
It just makes me cranky.
I really enjoy the drama and simplicity of getting on the scale. I like scalie. It tells a simple story with three digits and beep (beep sound).
So let’s do the weigh-in. Last week I weighed 170.8 pounds.
This week I weigh 172.2 pounds. Okay, the saga continues. I hope you have a great week. Be well and thank you